Thoughts for the New Year..

I usually don’t like posting really personal things specially outside of photography, but here goes. This is more like a letter to myself really.

2011 was awesome. It was the year I graduated cum laude from UP Diliman, of the last Harry Potter film, the year I started Heliana, traveled with my bestfriends, the year I wept for Steve Jobs (it was his speech and JK’s that I watched right after graduation), the year I got to take David Beckham’s photograph, and deliver my first speech. I saw my first demolition. And I got to meet and dance with Matt.

 

2011 was the year I really got to explore and just play. Although I loved my stay n UP, and I got to meet so many brilliant people, I wasn’t happy with sitting around in a classroom anymore. I promised myself I wouldn’t get a desk job—I’ll just experiment and see where the wind takes me. I wanted to create and innovate and explore. I slept in so many different places and hung out with people I really cared about. No more fluff. And though I had my fair share of quarter life crisis moments, I have to say that I’m happy with my decision to just take my time first. At the end of my year, I’m just as confused as I was when I graduated last April—still don’t know what I want to do with my life, but I learned a ton of things, so I have no regrets.

Here are 11 things I learned this year, from the storm of experiences that happened to me. 11 ideas that have made me better! I'm not an expert on anything and I have not always adhered to these ideas, but they're important to me anyway. 

1.     The most effective way to do it is to do it. –Amelia Earhart The hardest thing to do is start, and sometimes you just have to take the leap. Make a stand. Just do what you need to do.

2.     Live with no excuses. Stop fidgeting about what your parents want, or your lack of resources. Be creative, make your own descarte. I used to make excuses all the time. But when I realized that a lot of things WERE actually in my control, I was set free. I became happier knowing that my life was my own. I could color out of the lines.

3.     Stop thinking about revenge or karma. I don't believe in karma. If you focus on your own life, and if you live a life of great quality, you shouldn’t worry about someone else’s misery.

4.     Explore. Travel. Sleep on the floor if you have to. 

5.     Shopping will only make you happy temporarily. Haha, I know, what a learning! But this was the year I started my adventure fund, and after feeling horrible after having wasted thousands of pesos buying things I really don’t need, this was what I learned. Also I made a pact to enter 2012 with as few belongings as possible, and so I cleaned out my room, donated the clothes I barely use, and now I finally feel so liberated! I literally donated ¾ of the clothes I own. I know it’s crazy but I don’t need it. 

6.     Getting out of your comfort zone is one of the surefire ways to surprise yourself. I discovered that I was braver than I thought I was.

7.     Value the helpers. My yaya since birth left this year to retire and I wept for DAYS. I still feel like crying when I think about it, but I realize now how absolutely IMPORTANT she was to me growing up. Mum is a single parent, and while she was working, my yaya was at home tutoring me and taking care of me and finding my things. Nothing compares to that kind of love! 

8.     Count your blessings. Stop complaining. Yep, more blessings came when I stopped moping about what I didn’t have and when I started focusing on the wonderful things I had, and the wonderful things that are yet to come. 

9.     Believe in the impossible. I read somewhere that even if you fail a couple of times, you are still way ahead of everyone who isn’t trying. That’s so absolutely true! And don’t ever tell someone they can’t do something. 

10. Be excited for things. I swear I think this is why I have become a happy person. I just started to find things I could look forward to. 

11. Smile. I swear this has probably saved my life (and my equipment) a bunch of times. I smile, even to shady looking fellas.

And that's my 2011 learning list! So for 2012, I figured that since it might just be the last year EVER, I might as well do what I want to do! And if it's not the last year, well at least I had fun, and at least by 2013 I'll be just 22 and that's still not a bad age to start over. Win win! I'm taking my time and enjoying my youth, and learning all that I want to learn, and also maybe unlearn. I just want to grow. 

I also have a wish, and a little note to myself.

May the coming year be lived as if it were your last. I hope you find new places to get lost in, and I hope you find it in your gut to follow what it is that’s tugging on your heartstrings. I hope you get to dance and run and dream like a madman. I hope you see something magical, and experience something that’s real. May the year be kind to you, but more importantly, may you be kind because people need it. I hope you find people to hug and happy thoughts to smile to.  I hope you laugh until your tummy hurts. And I hope you find new adventures.


Happy New Year :)

Aeta Portraits

My high school block arranged a Christmas party for the children of an Aeta community up north. They have a special place in our hearts cause way back when we were in high school, we got to live with Aetas for five days and it was amazing. Though this is not the same community, it was still heartwarming, although bitin of course. I'm just so inspired cause we just had a get together and the idea to throw a small party for the Aetas came up, and then days later we were getting donations, the girls were doing garage sales and we had enough funds. I'm lucky to have grown up with their kind.

The Christmas party was cool. It was also a riot. There were so many children! There were probably about a hundred and eighty to two hundred of them! While the games were going on, I snuck out for a bit and took the portraits. Just so excited to go back. Got permission to live with them in the summer for a photoessay! I'd love to tell their story in photos... An ongoing project to look forward to :)



...oh and here's a photo of me taking a photo of the girl with the crescent moon eyes from the first photo in this entry. She's gorgeous. I wish they would see that! When we were in high school, they requested for skin whitening products and hair straightening shampoos, thanks to the commercials they see on TV. I wish that would change soon.

Sometimes I wonder how far they really need to be 'developed.' They just seem so much happier than a lot of people in the city. They must know something we don't.

**P.S. These photos may not have watermarks, but that doesn't mean you own it :) If you will use it for anything, kindly email me. :) Thanks!

Hospitality from the Homeless

Last month, I was invited to UP Los Banos to give a talk on photojournalism and Filipinos. Other speakers were advocate Carlos Celdran, Juana Change, screenwriter Raymond Lee (his work includes Zombadings, Ang Pagdadalaga ni Maximo Oliveros, and Tanging Yaman), and fashion photographer Xander Angeles. It was awesome to exchange ideas with them and I learned wayyy more than I imparted. Thank you Sigma Theta Delta! It was an amazing experience. I'm just starting out, but things like this remind me of why I want to follow my passion. People like them are just so.. alive.

Thank you, Zhar Altea for the photos

I was kind of scared at first to say yes--I'm far from being an expert in my field. But I'm learning a lot of things, (mainly from homeless Filipinos and from street children) and I realized it would be cool to be able to share them to people my age. However, when I said yes, I didn't realize there would be so much people in the audience! I'm a speech major, but mannnn speaking in front of around 800 to a thousand people--that was scary.

Here's the transcript of my speech.. Hope you pick up something from it! :)

Hospitality from the Homeless

Lantern Parade 2011

I understand that this post should be entitled 'Irish at the Lantern Parade' instead. Haha. Nope, no pictures of the floats here--I didn't get to see them either because I was really busy literally running at the oval, trying to look for people and trying not to hit people's faces with the balloons we bought. We must have circled the oval thrice. But the lanterns in the sky were gorgeous, and so were the fireworks. I realize now that I forgot to make a wish! Boo. I had fun anyway coming back home to UP and seeing the lovely trees, the lovely old buildings and the lovely people in such a festive mood. That put me in high spirits since I haven't been feeling the Christmas rush. I can't believe it's next week already!

Love is a place

Edric Chen sent me an email asking me if we could have a photo shoot. And so we did! I always love going to shoots (in general, okay, not just of me haha). Seeing other photographers work is always pretty cool, and I always pick up a thing or two. Plus it's really fun being able to talk to people who share your love for photos. Gabby Cantero once asked me something like 'Don't you think it's funny that people always assume that we (our generation of shutterbugs) resent each other?' And it's true that people always seem to think that we should hate each other, or hate other people with SLRs. But the truth is, I always get excited to meet other people who share my passion.

I am not a model or a fashion blogger, so I don't know how to move in front of the camera. Actually I am an intensely awkward person, but thankfully Edric is great at directing people! We wanted something fun for the shoot, and I love how the carabaos just appeared out of nowhere! Naturally, I had to ask the manong if I could ride it. My legs got all muddy but I'm quite used to getting dirty so I had a lot of fun! And at the end of the day that's all that matters. Well, that, and the photos, too :)

Also, I know you folks don't come here to see tons of pictures of my face, so forgive me if this post does just that. Allow the lady a bit of vanity, I'm only young once! :)

Will leave now with this little poem by one of my all time favorite people, my homie, ee. It's been inspiring me all day. Love is a place (and I visit it all the time). Have a happy weekend! xx

love is a place
& through this place of
love move
(with brightness of peace)
all places 

yes is a world
& in this world of
yes live
(skilfully curled)
all worlds

-ee cummings 

Where the Hell is Matt?

I have always loved this video (I blogged about it here before, actually). It all started 3 years ago when I was in my dorm room, and I woke up one morning, and there was a note in my roommate's laptop telling me to watch this video she loaded before leaving for Ateneo. It was this video, and it moved me so much! I was in my jammies and I was tearing up and getting so much goosebumps (specially in the India part). I think I watched it three times that morning.

So anyway, fast forward three years later. I opened my email last week and there was a message there from Matt saying he was coming to Manila (!!!!!). And I started jumping around my room and rejoicing like crazy! See, other people would go crazy like this for Justin Bieber..but I have my own set of heroes :) But anyway that wasn't it! He just emailed me and about 6 other people first asking us to be his 'committee' and to help him pick a spot. He wanted something distinctly Manila, so I suggested jeepneys (among other things) and he loiked it! So we arranged the whole thing and had the best rainy afternoon EVER!



Pets and I decided to make a placard so it wouldn't be weird for us to herd people around the area. We met at a jeep station in Katipunan and made our way to UP--a place where about 80 people can dance and other people wouldn't find it off because strange things like that always happen there anyway.



After a few moments of waiting, (yes, "Where the hell is Matt?" was heard while we were waiting) Matt arrived!



And he looked for me and thanked me when he arrived and it made me happy! After a few minutes of arranging, Matt's lensman, Win (I don't know if this is how this is spelled, but he is made of win, so I will spell it that way), was up on the jeep!



It was an amazing afternoon with an amazing turnout of amazing, colorful people--the kind that would spend their afternoon dancing badly with that dude on YouTube just because it's fun :)

...even when it started raining hard :)



At the end of the day, we were all soaked, but everyone was in such high spirits (well, at least I was!). I met so many cool people of all ages and from different parts of Luzon (some people went all the way from the province!), and since Matt Harding is in the 'People to Meet' section of my bucket list, I got to tick one thing off! I'm so happy :) Life has been pretty darn awesome, and this Sunday has been nothing short of inspiring. To be part of something like this is truly extraordinary :)



And here's what he wrote me. I will see to it :)